David Mitchell On Climate Change
So I’m kind of procrastinating these days. I have a pile of homework, and I’m avoiding it like Wayne Carey avoids reality. Turn off the laptop and turn on the Opiate of TV I say! Cruising past Law and Order Special Elevator Unit and CSI Cranbourne, I made it to Channel 31… and Skate 2 Death.
Bummer.
This show sucks… Badly. Its one of those things that makes you ashamed to call yourself a skateboarder, like Blue Crush did to women surfers, Skate 2 Death does so for skateboarders.
Imagine if you’re struggling for your civil rights in the ghettos of Soweto and Nelson Mandella comes on TV with a goatee, his hat backwards and pretending to be ‘street’ with a bunch of awkward gang signs and jeans big enough to hide rollerblade pads? Imagine that Nelson hollers out ‘Yo yo yo! This is what’s up with Civil Rights… It’s SICK!’. You’d be bummed right?
So was I. Welcome to Skate 2 Death.
If you haven’t seen it, I’ll give you a run down. Skate 2 Death is a 30 minute TV show constructed by a couple of dudes who lurk around skate parks, demos and comps with a two-bit VHS camera. Couple that with some stolen footage from legitimate videos.. and you have your half hour show!
I’ve pushed myself through this half hour of water torture a few times now, and I was secretly hoping they would get better, or go away… but apparently they did neither. God bless public access television.
The problem is that the production values remind me of a year nine video that my pot head friends and I made to appease my media teacher. The dichotomy lies in the fact that it’s been running for several years now! HOW?
The production values are what hurt me the most. There are wipes, fades and crazy negative/positive screen switches that remind me of an episode of Countdown. Come on guys… Invest a little cash in a decent camera and editing program… stop building a half hour program with two VCR’s and an AV cable.
Imagine a half hour of these guys.
Now we’re getting close.
Tonight’s episode featured some bad rap metal flavoured ‘extreme highlights’ of random skate action. There were pro ‘spotlights’ on Gareth Stuhr and Don Nguyen, which were just ripped from the latest Foundation video. However the bit that stung the most was the footage from Mornington skatepark. Now I’m not going to shit on Geoff Cook and his bro’s, cos they all rip… but the footage nearly gave me a seizure.
As a matter of fact, I have a feeling the guy holding the camera was having a seizure! For a whole afternoon! It was jumping around worse than Dave Keating on deadline day!
There’s only so many times I can watch somebody do a frontside feebs down a handrail. Let alone in slow motion three times and then with the positive/negative ‘feature’ going back and forth!
Imagine if Fred Durst was given his own public access show and decided to dedicate it to skateboarding. He did it all for the nookie… but nobody asked him to did they?
Yeah you got it. Its like a bunch of frat boys filmed themselves smashing beer cans over their own heads, slamming Jeager shots, and getting naked for no reason. Within that they found a link to skateboarding… and somehow were granted their own TV show…. Oh wait… some moron already did that.
So right now you’re hoping I can provide some kind of youtube link for Skate 2 Death.. Well guess what? It sucks so badly that the show doesn’t even rate on the worlds biggest spit bucket of ill conceived ideas and aborted screenplays. There’s no link!!
So the choice is now yours… Do you make the effort to find out for yourself and post your snide remarks underneath this article telling me to shut the hell up?
Go ahead! I’m not going to bother to make something better. I’m studying hard to make sure these crimes never take place again. Don’t stress… I’m doing my part for the cause.
I can’t imagine what the Snowboard version of this show would look like. It would have to involve some sort of white kid in a bright jacket, rapping like a gangsta doing ‘switch cabs’ over a man made bump to the sounds of ‘Souls of Mischief’… Oh wait… Never mind.
Um… Boy is this awkward… How do I wrap this up now… Uh, I hear there’s snow on Buller already, so load up dad’s Range Rover, grab the keys to the chateau and disregard everything I’ve said. Sorry if I offended you ‘brah’……
‘stop building a half hour program with two VCR’s and an AV cable’
Brilliant!
“Its like a bunch of frat boys filmed themselves smashing beer cans over their own heads, slamming Jeager shots, and getting naked for no reason.” gold – couldn’t have described either show any better!
A golf clap coming your way Hoban… nice.
dude… i love skate to death! it reminds me of the 90′s skate scene, bogans with big jeans and hat brims on 90 degree angles…. and they skate a fridge and a lawnmower!
This is how we got the idea for our “show”.
Sigh…. if only ours was this good.
that show gives C31 a bad name
what’s even more retarded is that Sk8 2 death won the antenna award for best youth TV show.
Kudos to Hoban for calling these guys out. Finally someone wrote down what we were all thinking.
Hey duD3 SK8 2 death is a mad show man lay off it you ignorant bastard.. Every episode is awesome az my cousin will hine iz AllWAys in it hes a mad sk8a from dandy wayz. Do you even sk8 you sound like some old bowl guy that trys to skate but is shit az. You need to take a chill pill bro. They allways have da sickest music on da show what do you listen to emo of sumthing.. Eat a cock fag if you get on that show you gotta be like a mad cunt sk8a pro like my cousin will. Your just jealous.
so true!
Wow… Just wow…
Hah, i too have been unlucky enough to come across this show, i could not believe what i was seeing. production quality??? Its not as if i can even support these guys for trying. Oh, there are also somewhat similar show’s for snowboarding. Thanks
Pop should have it’s own community television show. Lets make it happen. Boy would I like to beat Ballistyx over the head with a Logie. No really, I would, it’s a sick fetish of mine…
‘switch cabs’…Awesome! Just a tip Hoban, it gets worse…try ‘switch nollie’ (yeah believe it or not!), you can only do that on a snowboard.(apparently) haha..
Yeah we know the show is below par, but this blog is simply drivel stating what some people might think is the obvious. Instead of using subtle humour to great effect Ben, you have basically just bagged the crap out of the show and tried to cover it up with a few jokes. Not entertaining reading.
Next time stop the blatant hating and start having a bit of fun with stuff like this.
i just saw the shoutbox and now this, I saw your guys coverage on the burton railjam last year and you guys are baggin Ballistix,?! i saw their show on fuel and thoiught it was going to be crap after all the shit said about it, but im converted, I thought they did an awesome job,they must be laughing at you guys, and you want to beat them over the head, wow, just wow
is that the same “two-bit VHS camera” used to compile your footage from the viva prahran 07 contest in ya portfolio section? The sk82death boys covered that day better than that… the “stolen footage” you refer to was provided legitimately with consent from the creators or could not be broadcast as per c31 guidelines… The show is old now and has been out of production for a year though c31 can re-broadcast as they please so you may well be watching early eps…. get with it
I agree with ESPthrash, The coverage of the Prahran contest was well filmed and cleanly edited. Also C31 does not exactly show a high standard when it comes to their shows so I’m not sure why you expected so much from the show anyway. Its a great thing to see a few mates getting together and showing local skating coverage each week, Maybe these guys should be congratulated for producing a great show on what is most likely a very small budget. When is pop magazine going to put out a program on a community station?
i just read this review on sk8 to death and it was the biggest watse of time ..
wow these days you have have a vx to make ur own mini video or people likE yoU bag them??
i dotn see u doing anything or hellpign them out ? or show?
its easy to sit back and laugh and bag them
but a lot harder to make ur own show
ahahahahaha the funnyest thing is that POP RAN A INTER VIEW WITH A PERSON DOINg A OLLIE DOWN A 11 STAIR, BS FLIP OVER A TINY GAP THAT CHRIS SMITH SW BIGGYED? ? AHAHAHAAHA
THATS SO CRAPPP????? PLEASE EXPLAINE THAT ?
WOW THATS FUNNY SK8 TO DEATH HAD SOMTHING BETETR THEN A OLLIE 11 PHOTO THAT LOOKED GAY AS A HOMO?
WERE F***ING AUSSIES SURPORT ONE ANOTHER
stop ur lil bitchign and grow up?
oh and u didnt even tell us what time and when it is so they can make there own opition, yeh if they made a snowboarding one it woudl look just as gay as pop mag woudlnt it?
skate to death fan, honestly, grow some balls and learn how to spell you dumb shit.
seriously, your like “bah bah bah my cousin bah bah”, umm.. no one gives a shit!
Trent.. wow… yeah i think you need to learn how to spell as well, mate.
you are the one bitching, if you don’t want to read something you don’t like, don’t read these blogs. your not guaranteed to agree with everything, so i think your the one who needs to grow up and stop bitching.
If you can bag POP for doing some crap interview, (your opinion) then why cant Hoban have his say on skate2death??!!
awesome post Hoban, totally agree with you
You ungrateful tool !
Channel 31 doesn’t pay ANYTHING for their shows,
the sk82death guys busted thier arses to do what no other comercial station would do, GET SKATING ON AUSTRALIAN TV, and all for free.
they would have had to have paid for everything out of their own pockets.
“Invest a little cash in a decent camera” – at nearly $20,000 for a “broadcast” quallity camera, gee you’re right, why didn’t they spend $20,000 with no hope of making a cent back from community television… dickhead.
With a “two-bit VHS camera” they have won the best camera work antenna award 2 years in a row (a national award) and ESPThrash is right, sk82death’s footage from prahran SHAT ALL OVER YOURS.
Perhaps you should downgrade to a “two-bit VHS camera” and ask the sk82death boys for some lessons in camerawork.
We should thank these guys for countless hours of unpaid work, do any of YOU give a shit about skating enough to give that sort of time / commitment ?
What time and what channel can I see your show ?
COME BACK SK82DEATH !!! cheaply made or not, you’re all we’ve got
Wanker !
sk82death is the best Australian TV show EVER !!!!!!!!!
Sean is a genius, their pranks are funny as hell, and at least one of the hosts is nursing a broken bone at all times
I’ve got most of em on tape, have watched em a million times, and you mate… are a wanker !
I dunno bout “the best Australian TV show EVER !!!!!!!!!” but it was pretty good, me n my friends watched it every week
sk82death Season 3 Opening Titles
I’d rather a couple of bogans than MTV
Skate to Death rules !
Let’s see YOU drop into a vert ramp ON A MACCA’S TRAY ! and then we’ll hear what you’ve got to say
Way to hate on 95% of your audience Hoban, good plan bra.
(or “Brah” if you preffer that misspelling)
I love it so much i want it to die. You should see Kilderry watch it, cringing in fear that he will be on it.
Skate to Death (or…ahem… STD if you will) is up there with A Current affair and Today Tonight as one of Australia’s best comedies.